Feast of St. Augustine

From the Office of Readings (Augustine, Confessions):

Urged to reflect upon myself, I entered under your guidance the innermost places of my being; but only because you had become my helper was I able to do so. I entered, then, and with the vision of my spirit, such as it was, I saw the incommutable light far above my spiritual ken and transcending my mind: not this common light which every carnal eye can see, nor any light of the same order; but greater, as though this common light were shining much more powerfully, far more brightly, and so extensively as to fill the universe. The light I saw was not the common light at all, but something different, utterly different, from all those things. Nor was it higher than my mind in the sense that oil floats on water or the sky is above the earth; it was exalted because this very light made me, and I was below it because by it I was made. Anyone who knows truth knows this light.
O eternal Truth, true Love, and beloved Eternity, you are my God, and for you I sigh day and night. As I first began to know you, you lifted me up and showed me that, while that which I might see exists indeed, I was not yet capable of seeing it. Your rays beamed intensely on me, beating back my feeble gaze, and I trembled with love and dread. I knew myself to be far away from you in a region of unlikeness, and I seemed to hear your voice from on high: “I am the food of the mature: grow, then, and you shall eat me. You will not change me into yourself like bodily food; but you will be changed into me”.
Accordingly I looked for a way to gain the strength I needed to enjoy you, but I did not find it until I embraced the mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus, who is also God, supreme over all things and blessed for ever. He called out, proclaiming I am the Way and Truth and the Life, nor had I known him as the food which, though I was not yet strong enough to eat it, he had mingled with our flesh, for the Word became flesh so that your Wisdom, through whom you created all things, might become for us the milk adapted to our infancy.

Late have I loved you, Beauty so ancient and so new, late have I loved you!
Lo, you were within,
 but I outside, seeking there for you,
 and upon the shapely things you have made
 I rushed headlong – I, misshapen.
You were with me, but I was not with you.
They held me back far from you,
 those things which would have no being,
 were they not in you.
You called, shouted, broke through my deafness;
 you flared, blazed, banished my blindness;
 you lavished your fragrance, I gasped; and now I pant for you;
 I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst;
 you touched me, and I burned for your peace.

Feast of Saint Monica

From the Office of Readings (Saint Augustine, Confessions):

Because the day when she was to leave this life was drawing near – a day known to you, though we were ignorant of it – she and I happened to be alone, through (as I believe) the mysterious workings of your will. We stood leaning against a window which looked out on a garden within the house where we were staying, at Ostia on the Tiber; for there, far from the crowds, we were recruiting our strength after the long journey, in order to prepare ourselves for our voyage overseas. We were alone, conferring very intimately. Forgetting what lay in the past, and stretching out to what was ahead, we enquired between ourselves, in the light of present truth, into what you are and what the eternal life of the saints would be like, for Eye has not seen nor ear heard nor human heart conceived it. And yet, with the mouth of our hearts wide open we panted thirstily for the celestial streams of your fountain, the fount of life which is with you.
This was the substance of our talk, though not the exact words. Yet you know, O Lord, how on that very day, amid this talk of ours that seemed to make the world with all its charms grow cheap, she said, “For my part, my son, I no longer find pleasure in anything that this life holds. What I am doing here still, or why I am still here, I do not know, for worldly hope has withered away for me. One thing only there was for which I desired to linger in this life: to see you a Catholic Christian before I died. And my God has granted this to me more lavishly than I could have hoped, letting me see even you spurning earthly happiness to be his servant. What am I still doing here?”
What I replied I cannot clearly remember, because just about that time – five days later, or not much more – she took to her bed with fever. One day during her illness she lapsed into unconsciousness and for a short time was unaware of her surroundings. We all came running, but she quickly returned to her senses, and, gazing at me and my brother as we stood there, she asked in puzzlement, “Where was I?”
We were bewildered with grief, but she looked keenly at us and said, “You are to bury your mother here”. I was silent, holding back my tears, but my brother said something about his hope that she would not die far from home but in her own country, for that would be a happier way. On hearing this she looked anxious and her eyes rebuked him for thinking so; then she turned her gaze from him to me and said, “What silly talk!” Shortly afterwards, addressing us both, she said, “Lay this body anywhere, and take no trouble over it. One thing only do I ask of you, that you remember me at the altar of the Lord wherever you may be”. Having made her meaning clear to us with such words as she could muster, she fell silent, and the pain of the disease grew worse.

Benedict on Augustine

One wonders if the pope sees in his election as pope a similar path when he says this of Augustine’s ordination “The beautiful dream of the contemplative life disappeared, Augustine’s life fundamentally changed. Now he had to live with Christ for all.” No Bavarian retreat to contemplate the truth, but a mission to share the truth to the world!

From Zenit:

Benedict XVI illustrated Augustine’s path to conversion, recalling the “three conversions” that the saint experienced, which “in fact were a single great conversion in seeking the face of Christ and then walking together with him.”

First conversion

“The first fundamental conversion was the interior road to Christianity, toward the ‘yes’ of faith and baptism,” he explained. According to some historians, Augustine’s baptism took place on Easter in 387.

Augustine “was always tormented by the question of truth. He wanted to find truth,” the Holy Father explained.

“He always believed — sometimes rather vaguely, sometimes more clearly — that God exists and takes care of us,” the Pontiff said. “But to truly know this God and Jesus Christ and come to say ‘yes’ to him with all the consequences this entails — this was the great interior struggle of his youth.

“He tells us that, by means of Platonic philosophy, he accepted and recognized that ‘in the beginning was the Word,’ the Logos, creative reason. But philosophy did not show him any road to reach this Word; this Logos remained distant and intangible.

“Only in the faith of the Church did he find the second essential truth: The Word was made flesh. And in this way he touches us and we touch him.”

Augustine’s “second conversion” took place after his baptism in Hippo, in Africa; he founded a small monastery and by popular demand was ordained a priest by force, the Pope explained.

Second conversion

Benedict XVI continued: “The beautiful dream of the contemplative life disappeared, Augustine’s life fundamentally changed. Now he had to live with Christ for all.

“He had to translate his knowledge and sublime thoughts into the thought and language of the simple folk of his city.

“The great philosophical work of a lifetime, which he had dreamed of, remained unwritten. In its place we were given the gift of something more precious: the Gospel translated into the language of daily life.”

“This was the second conversion that this man, struggling and suffering, had to undergo,” the Pope added. “He must always be there for everyone; always with Christ he must give his own life so that others might find Christ, the true Life.”

Third conversion

St. Augustine’s third conversion took place when he discovered that “only one is truly perfect and that the words of the Sermon on the Mount are completely realized only in one person: in Jesus Christ himself,” the Holy Father said.

He added: “On the other hand, the whole Church — all of us, including the apostles — must pray every day: Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, St. Augustine wrote.

“Augustine saw the final step of humility — not only the humility of inserting his great thought into the faith of the Church, not only the humility of translating his great knowledge into the simplicity of proclamation, but also the humility of recognizing that the merciful goodness of a God who forgives was necessary for him and the whole pilgrim Church.

“And we make ourselves resemble Christ, the perfect one, to the greatest extent possible, when we become merciful persons like him.”

Benedict XVI concluded with this exhortation: “In this hour let us thank God for the great light that radiates from the wisdom and humility of St. Augustine and let us pray to the Lord that he give all of us the necessary conversion each day and thus lead us to the true life.”